I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
