Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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