Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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