4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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