I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize