Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
