Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
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