I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
