Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
ttyl tear gas
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
