glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
