I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
