Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
