I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Randomize
