thus making me awesome and them whores
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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