so let's talk penis.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
