I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
