cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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