I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Randomize
