hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
