he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
