yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
