Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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