I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
never play flip cup with pint glasses
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
