I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
