i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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