can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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