So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
