So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
How external is "for external use only"?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
