I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
