Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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