dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Randomize
