you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
