You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
What a dumb baby whore.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Randomize
