my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
