Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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