belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
