so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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