What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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