I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Randomize
