My balls are so social today.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
