Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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