i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
the day after is always just damage control
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
