Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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