Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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