and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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