i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
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