i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
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