The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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