He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
