she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
