if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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