would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
