cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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