The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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