Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i barfeds in our rink
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
