I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize