my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Randomize
