I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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