...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I need moral support for this bender
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Randomize
