My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I came so hard my ears popped.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
