New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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