okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
