buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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